I’m sorry I don’t know what this is

SWANSON: Howdy there, boys. This is Swanson, your Flight Wing Supercommander.

KIO: Swanson, why do you get to be the Supercommander?

SWANSON: Kio, last time you were Supercommander, everyone Superdied.

KIO: Well I’m Supersorry, okay?

STAIRMASTER: Heyit’smeStairmaster, your Flight Suppercommander!

KIO: Good, I’m Superhungry.

SWANSON: There’ll be plenty of time for stuffing our fat faces after we complete today’s training mission. I believe Commodore Srol will be briefing us today.

KIO: They probably should have briefed us before we got in the planes.

STAIRMASTER: Yeah, it’s not very fuel-efficient.

SWANSON: Yeah, that’s why I was running after you guys telling you not to get in your planes.

KIO: Well you should have said something.

SWANSON: I said, “Hey, stop getting in your planes!”

SROL: Hey, this is your pal, Commodore Srol-xtyfour, just letting you guys know you’re in big trouble.


SROL: But don’t think too much about the Superdungeon right now. I need you guys to be focused on the current training mission where you have to destroy the targets.

KIO: What are the targets?

SROL: The targets are inhibition and low self-esteem. Just blow ‘em up!

STAIRMASTER: I think I might have accidentally done that already.

SWANSON: Got it, Commodore. So the targets should be on the radar.

STAIRMASTER: I can’t see my radar.

SWANSON: Well you shouldn’t have spilled coffee on it.

STAIRMASTER: I don’t even drink coffee. I can’t remember what I was going to do with it.

KIO: I dared you to spill coffee on your radar, remember?


SWANSON: All right, the targets aren’t even moving, so it should be easy enough to hit them with a missile strike.

STAIRMASTER: I gotta’ remember to wait until the locking-on thing turns red. I wasted all my missiles last time.

KIO: You had 200 missiles, why didn’t you just stop shooting missiles?

STAIRMASTER: I don’t know.

KIO: There was only one target.

STAIRMASTER: I don’t know!

KIO: Not a very big one.


SWANSON: Hey, I see some fast-moving targets coming in. Commodore Srol, do you know anything about that?

SROL: I know about a lot of things.

SWANSON: … Okay?

SROL: But not about those fast-movers.

BOX: How foolish to think you could get out of these training grounds without defeating me, Archduke Connor!


SWANSON: Shit, it’s our nemesis, Connor, Archduke of Lamesville.

BOX: It’s Lamestown, insolent worm!

KIO: And he’s got like 20 other guys with him! That’s not fair.

STAIRMASTER: We can take ‘em! Kio, you first.

KIO: I can’t even dogfight one guy.

STAIRMASTER: What about that time you said where you took down 100 planes at once?

KIO: Except that time. I was in the zone for sure.

BOX: Prepare to suffer your defeat at my hands, and also the hands of these 20 other guys!

KIO: Oh I’m ready!

STAIRMASTER: Soup’s on, motherfuckers!

BOX: … Huh?

SWANSON: Oh sorry, yeah, he’s the Flight Suppercommander.

BOX: Good, because I hunger … For your destruction!

KIO: Ow, that’s a good one. He got you, Stair.

STAIRMASTER: Only Stairmaster can destroy Stairmaster.

SWANSON: That and Monopoly.

STAIRMASTER: I’m not good with money.


BOX: I can’t believe me and my whole squadron were taken out by three fools such as you!

SWANSON: There’s a reason our Commodore calls us the three greatest fools he’s ever seen.

SROL: It’s true!

BOX: I’ll defeat you next time, and with a much sillier voice!

SWANSON: (Scottish?) Oi yew jus’ go an’ try it, friend!

KIO: (German) Ja, you vill never get ze one up on us!

STAIRMASTER: (rustyspoons) You will fear our mighty power…!

SROL: Bonjour, sacrebleu!

KIO: (Borat) Hello, I am-a Kio! Very nice!

SWANSON: Okay, that’s enough of that.

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