Let’s face it folks, we all eat. You can deny it all you want but I bet at some point today you decided to make yourself some food or grab a little snack from the fridge. Don’t worry, it can be our little secret. Regardless of what you’re eating, the most important thing is the sounds you make when eating. A recent study, created by yours truly, confirms that most people are attracted to sounds other than the typical crunching and smacking of lips that come from your ravenous maw when you deposit food into it. Below, are what I believe to be five of the best sounds you can make.
This one may sound like a battle cry or a small child attempting to learn words at first but done enough times it will be seen as nothing more than a compliment to the meal. Are they saying “yes?” “Yeah?” The answer is unknown because this meal is so good that you can only get out part of whatever you’re trying to emote.
This one is similar to another on the list but it is the added “H” sound that brings a different kind of flavor to it. The key to this sound is to start off quiet and gradually get louder until you are practically humming the sound for everyone to hear. Be warned, at first people will feel inclined to ask if you like the meal due to the quizzical nature of the sound. Just ignore their question and continue eating, they’ll get the answer they were looking for soon after.
This is easily the hardest on the list to pull off correctly. Done poorly, someone with you may be inclined to think you are in pain or having a sudden panic attack when faced with the prospect of shoving some form of sustenance into your gullet. When done correctly, the sound will produce a feeling of you gradually being okay with what you’ve eaten and as you continue to make the noise it will produce the same feelings in those around you.
One of the most marvelous sounds you can make when eating. It immediately wows the people with you and may just turn some of them on as well. It’s enough to make those around you immediately ask to “have what they’re having.” This can backfire though, done too frequently the effect will wear off and people may begin to suspect that you are trying too hard to like the food. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN.
My personal favorite and frankly one of the best sounds in the entire world to hear. Everyone in your radius will be calmed by the dulcet tones of your quiet and understated enjoyment of your food. This is the subtlest sound as it requires you to hit the perfect decibel to make it work. Too quiet and people won’t hear you at all, too loud and people will be inclined to call the authorities.
There you have it, my personal list of the best sounds to make when eating. Feel free to let me know how these sounds change your life for the better in the comments below!