Welcome to another week of the Entertainment Roundup where I share my favorite entertainment news of the week and give my own spin on it. Let’s start off with let’s start with some Fantastic news!
Doomed Decisions
The new Fantastic Four film has already caused a bit of a stir on the internet by claiming to be “gritty and grounded,” with it’s inherently unrealistic premise and in, what I can only assume is, a measure of revenge on the angry internet bloggers, the film will make it’s villain an angry internet blogger.
“He’s Victor Domashev, not Victor von Doom in our story. And I’m sure I’ll be sent to jail for telling you that. The Doom in ours—I’m a programmer. Very antisocial programmer. And on blogging sites I’m ‘Doom.’” the, still not imprisoned, Toby Kebbell told Collider in a recent interview.
Kebbell didn’t reveal anymore but we can imagine that we will see Not-at-All-a-Doctor Doom hack into Mr. Fantastic’s, who is probably just a really flexible guy, phone and post nude photos of the Invisible Woman, who is probably just not taken seriously in her profession making her feel “invisible”.
This ultra-realistic Fantastic Four will hit theaters August 7th, 2015.
Bryan Cranston wants you to Fucking Eat
After the, rather amazing, success of Adam Mansbach’s Go The Fuck to Sleep, it was only a matter of time until the sequel came and that time has arrived.
While the first book has had the likes of Levar Burton and Samuel L. Jackson narrating it. Mansbach’s new book, You Have to Fucking Eat, will attempt to one-up them all by having Bryan Cranston swear in a nice, polite tone.
Luckily, you can listen to it right now as Audible is offering Cranston’s version as a free download for the rest of the month.
The Amazing Aunt May
Because Marvel Studios are the only company allowed to make good decisions when it comes to their super-hero films. Sony is reportedly considering making a Spider-Man spin-off about Peter Parker’s elderly Aunt May.
Sadly, while watching May struggle to overcome the villainous Doctor Dialysis and also attempting to go to the bank and finally get that free toaster would be thrilling, Sony is instead attempting to make it about May’s younger days, when she was a super cool spy but not at all a cool spy like Marvel’s Studios cool spy chick from the 50s, Agent Carter.
Regardless, there’s no concrete evidence that this movie is actually planned, in fact, Sony has already denied the rumors, making this all sort of a moot point. Although maybe we’ll get lucky and they’re using there rumors to distract us while they make a Spider-Ham movie!
Duck Dynasty: The Musical!
Because Duck Dynasty has already planted it’s particular brand of good ole, deep-fried, southern pride on everything else, the Robertson family has decided to make a musical about itself as well. Thankfully, it is only a Vegas musical, the made-for-TV of the musical world.
The Duck Commander Family Musical, as it is actually being called because this is where we have come as a society, will combine footage of the Robertson’s hunting, family anecdotes, and, of course, music, because, otherwise, what would be the point of this, besides all the piles of money.
Expect to see the show hit the stage in the next couple of years, provided one of the family doesn’t realize the inherent irony of working on a musical after all of their controversy.
That’s all for this week’s Roundup, I’ll see you folks next week for another edition.