Category: Uncategorized
Constable Dogginton and Inspector Cogswealth in The Case of the Missing Fucks
Constable Dogginton and Inspector Cogswealth in The Case of the Missing Fucks It was a sunny day in the city of Animal Town. A day like any other Saturwednesday. Constable Doggintgon, a stout bulldog with a broad mustache, was patrolling the streets. With him was as always was Inspector Cogswealth, a tall ferret in a […]
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I’m sorry I don’t know what this is
SWANSON: Howdy there, boys. This is Swanson, your Flight Wing Supercommander. KIO: Swanson, why do you get to be the Supercommander? SWANSON: Kio, last time you were Supercommander, everyone Superdied. KIO: Well I’m Supersorry, okay? STAIRMASTER: Heyit’smeStairmaster, your Flight Suppercommander! KIO: Good, I’m Superhungry. SWANSON: There’ll be plenty of time for stuffing our fat faces […]
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Zesty Aroma welcomes its third visitor
It was a riot in the streets of Zesty Aroma’s Current Location today when the third visitor to this proud result of zoning misconduct was spotted on the horizon. “The bells! THE BELLS!” shouted resident pointless fury Pregga Zexas from the rooftops of Saint GT Abbey as he furiously rang the bells. “It was crazy […]
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Alaska, I’ll ask ya, get me outta here! Scrauglin’ with Pete Offalburger
Why did I go to Alaska? Wait, no, that’s the wrong … waddaya … question. Let me start over. How did I go to Alaska? I don’t want to give you too much of a peak behind the curtain lest you get a full eyehold of my vastness (look but don’t touch fellas), but things […]
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Scraugglin’ Accross America with Pete Offalburger: A Travelogue
Hi, I’m Pete Offalburger. For years, you’ve put your eyes to the ole’ television cuber to watch my shows including “Yes, I will eat it”” “Yes, I will eat it 2: Is it a sandwich?” and “Yes, I will eat it 3: This is where I die, right here, with all America watching, oh Lord, […]
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BREAKING NEWS: Earthquake Caused by Strongest Man in the Universe
Today, Wavy, the strongest man in the universe caused an earthquake with his powerful fist! His mighty punch caused a magnitude 15 earthquake that shook the entire planet, destroying countless cities and putting the world’s nations into a panic. “What a guy! I’d love to spar with him!” ~ Goku
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I will pause this game forever
Alien Isolation? More like Alien Big Piece of Shit! No wait… Alien IsoGAYtion! There we go alien isolation is about the isolation a lesbian feels in a CIS hetero male space world she spends the whole game looking for her sexy lesbian mom, Sigourney Weaver, for some reverse gay version of that Oedipal business everything […]
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Endless Shrimp
“Now we are all sons of bitches.”
~Kenneth Bainbridge, upon witnessing the world’s first endless shrimp
We are going to run out of wind and it will be your fault
Has this happened to you lately? You’re just walking down the street, enjoying a can of soda. Finish the soda, just throw it on the ground. Who gives a crap, not your ground. Then some treehugger comes up to you and starts giving you the old nag-around about how you’re destroying the planet. I hope […]
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The original sin of keyboards and pants
There’s a great app for Android cell phones called 8pen. That’s right, we’re talking about apps now. The idea behind it is that it’s a stupid idea to try and compress a giant keyboard onto a small cell phone screen. Instead, the entire experience should be redesigned to fit the new situation’s design requirements, namely […]
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Pregga’s Perusal: Enemy Front
Why does Pregga love this game so much? Read more to find out!
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Pregga’s Poetry: The Loneliest Flower
Forsooth, yon flower Why dost thou sit so lonely upon the windowsill? Mayhaps ‘Twer uprooted, and yea, A fellow did place thee, For his filly, Into a rustic pot, perchance vase, To sit, And molt, Upon the carpet, O, Yon Flower, This fucking mess, you have made How long have you sat there, I do […]
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Pilot Season: MASH
Welcome to Pilot Season, the, hopefully, recurring series where we take a look a various TV show pilots and see how they compare to the rest of the series. Today we’re going to cover one of the greatest sitcoms of all time, MASH. I’ve seen bits and pieces of the pilot for MASH over the […]
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Preditor: Bad Husband, Lazy Wife
The riveting tale of a man who learns to love his wife so that their son will pass his exams.
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