Top 5 Ways to Get Away With Speeding that Cops Don’t Know About

Are you sick and tired of getting speeding tickets that take away your hard earned cash? Do you want to be able to drive down  the highway at a million billion miles per hour without the cops having a single thing to say about it?

No? What? You’re kidding. You do. You’re going to read this article and learn about the amazing ways to speed without getting busted– and the cops are clueless about these techniques!

#5 Drive So Fast That Nobody Can See You

Most people aren’t aware that this is possible. And easy. On your car, the speedometer probably goes up to some number in the low 100s. But what most people don’t know, is if you press down the gas really really hard, it will go past this mark and go all the way to 500,000,000 miles per hour. With this kind of speed, you will be invisible to the human eye, and to the cop eye. The cops will have no idea!

This method is very low on the list because if you do this, you are virtually guaranteed to die. You see, when your car accelerates to a speed rivaling the speed of light, it will most likely be completely obliterated within moments. However, this is a great way to die: sticking it to the man.

#4 Use The Secret Highway


A lot of naysayers deny the existence of the secret highway. Even the cops doubt that it exists. But it’s there. I drive on it. The wide open secret roads are amazing. No traffic. No cops. Most importantly, no tickets.

“How did you access the secret highway?” is a question I get a lot. Haha! it doesn’t matter how I got access, because it’s different for every geographic location and every individual person. For me, it involved doing a lot of crime. I had to kill a man. Worth it.

#3 Drive An Emergency Vehicle

Buy or steal your own firetruck. You can drive however you want and nobody will ever have anything to say to you about it. Drive around with the sirens on at all times and travel at ridiculous speeds. People even have to pull over and stop for you! You’ll never get a ticket!

You can even pretend to be a fireman and use the high pressure water hose to cause property damage. Just picture spraying out some windows to some random building. Fun. The cops might get mad about that but you just tell them there was a fire that you put out and it’s all good.

You can also drive an ambulance but that’s boring. I guess you could pull up and use the defibrillator on a random person. And then you can tell the cops they had a heart attack if they complain.

#2 Change Every Single Speed Limit Sign

The cops will never see this one coming. Using your favorite tools, either modify all existing speed limit signs or create your own. Crudely paint over the 65 or whatever on the sign with 120 and you will be absolutely immune to speeding tickets. Simply point the cop to the sign that shows the super high speed limit that you created, and he can’t do anything!

All the drivers on the road will be applauding you for upgrading the signs to fit their driving needs. Enjoy your new fast-paced driving experience and laugh at the frustrated cops you are powerless to stop you. And don’t worry. The new signs are definitely legally binding and certainly not vandalism. Try it in your hometown today!

#1 Become a Cop

By becoming a cop you’ll now be the one handing out the tickets and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Enjoy driving around with your sirens on all the time and giving out tickets all day. As a cop, you can drive however you want and the other cops can’t say anything about it.

If you really want to pull one over on the police force, you can become chief and give yourself power to give tickets to other cops. That’s right, you’ll not only be completely immune to traffic laws, you can punish those smug cops who always gave you tickets! Imagine the look on their faces when you pull them over and give them a ticket. Imagine the look on your smug face as you do this. It’s probably pretty amazing.

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